Monarchy, social media, and what it means to be human

Reflections on the death of Queen Elizabeth II and the limits of binary thinking

When news of Queen Elizabeth’s death hit the headlines, I watched as two different threads of lamentation filled my Instagram feed.

The first thread was filled with gracious reflections on the magnitude of her impact, as well as condolences being extended to the British Royal family. Tributes abounded as people lamented her death while celebrating her legacy.

The second thread on my feed was the quite the opposite, as folks lamented her legacy and celebrated her death. In speaking to the magnitude of harm caused by the British empire, some of the critiques were fair while others, in my opinion, bordered on cruel.

I found it jarring to watch as yet another event split my newsfeed down the middle.

We love the Queen. She was an iconic leader.

We hate the Queen. She was a force of evil.

The very picture of polarization.

As I sat with the news of the Queen’s death, and tried to process my own thoughts alongside the many thoughts of others, I found myself asking, “which side of this am I supposed to be on?”

It was a reflex. It happened instantly. I was flooded with doubt and shame as I sorted through all of my questions.

My internal dialogue sounded like this:

Am I not Black enough if I’m not outraged in this moment about the legacy of the British empire on African nations? Am I ridiculous for having a reaction to the death of another nation’s monarch? Is it problem if I am inspired by her, and in a very distant way, thankful for the grace and leadership she’s demonstrated over seven decades of service? Gosh, maybe I should revisit some of the texts from my one college seminar on colonization. I obviously have so much more to learn. Is this okay? Am I okay? Am I complicit in some problem I’ve never heard of and definitely don’t understand?

I eventually deleted the app for the evening and chose to create some space to hear my own voice a bit more clearly.

The pace of social media and the desire to be on the “right side” of every issue creates these impossible binaries. And to make matters worse, whichever side you’re on demands unflinching mental loyalty. This mental and emotional habit leads us to some strange places. In the case of Queen Elizabeth’s death, binary logic leads to either making her an angel or a demon, two ends on a singular spectrum of dehumanization.

Is any human story ever that simple?

I wonder if these binaries serve who we are collectively becoming, or if they are simply diminishing our ability to hold multiple truths, convictions, or feelings at one time.

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When I think about the past few years, there have been incredible moments when we’ve felt the power of social media. We’ve rallied for justice, we’ve educated ourselves, and protested for a more just and systemically lovingly world. Crisis moments called for action and care, and we showed up the best we knew how.

But what happens if when the crisis is over, we continue to function as if it’s still happening? What if we stay on guard, running to our siloes with every new significant cultural moment? Is recovery from this mental habit of binary thinking possible? I really want to know. Because the outcome of fractured communities, harsh social judgment, and rampant distrust is wholly unsustainable.

I like to think the practice of slowing down can meet us with spaciousness in moments when we are tempted to succumb to the pressures and limitations of binary thinking. I like to believe in the power of creating a little room to recover our ability to connect with the humanity of others. Yes, even those with whom we disagree. This matters because if we are not careful to regard even our enemies as full humans, we run the very real risk of embodying the very evils we claim to denounce.

No, many of us will never have the same level of access, power, or privilege as a monarch of the British empire. But each of us does have neighbors. Each of us does have a sphere of connection and influence. And the values we work out on social media in relation to all types of public figures are directly correlated to the values we work out in our normal, everyday lives.

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Today, as I added Instagram back to my phone and reengaged conversations about Queen Elizabeth’s death, I was grateful to find voices I trust speaking about how more than one thing can be true at a time. The British empire has caused great harm, and while I don’t fully understand how a monarchy works, I can only imagine the ways in which Queen Elizabeth was complicit in it. And, it would be utterly absurd to fail to acknowledge the significance of her life, a life she did not choose, but for which she took immense responsibility as a woman, mother, grandmother, and queen.

I’m so curious to hear your thoughts on this. Did I miss something here? Is there another way to see it? How do you handle the reality of multiple things being true at one time?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Take care friends,

Bethaney