permission granted
let's do less
How do I live slowly when my life is so full? Full of work? Full of family? Full of responsibilities?
This question came up again and again in the reader survey I shared a few weeks ago. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. On the one hand, I wish I could tell you exactly how to do it. On the other hand, I’m very aware that I cannot. It’s too personal. The demands on our time and energy are so varied. Our lives are constructed differently—different locations, different values, different needs—there aren’t sweeping and universal rules that make slow living a one-size-fits-all invitation.
But I sense something else underneath this question, a deeper need perhaps to be reminded that you are already doing enough. Slow living is not meant to be the addition of more activities, structures, and practices on your list. Slow living, at least in my dreams of it, is about less. It is about cultivating contentment with what is and living within our limits, not outside of and beyond them.
Permission granted: let’s do less.
You know how when it’s really cold outside, your fingers and toes lose their heat before the rest of your body?
This is nearly impossible to conceive of right now because it’s so hot, but I was thinking about this recently. Our bodies will conserve their heat to protect our most vital organs. Our fingers and toes go cold first because our bodies know, on some level, that if worst comes to worst, you can live without fingers and toes. But your heart, your lungs, your brain…those inner organs need more focus, more energy, and more heat.
Our lives are like this. When resources are scarce—be it time, energy, money, focus, etc—then it makes sense that our priorities would shift to what and who needs the most care. And such prioritization shifts with the seasons.
A few months ago, I was moving through some tumultuous shifts personally and professionally. I felt tremendous guilt that I wasn’t able to show up to my creative projects with as much focus and intention as I’d hoped. I don’t say this to illicit pity, but to name the reality that when we’re moving through change or crisis—personally or collectively—then our lives must be reordered to prioritize the foundational things.
All of this is to say, if you’re struggling to “slow down” or to create more restful habits, or if you feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to become the person you want to be, know that boundless compassion is available to you. Know that you are dearly loved just as you are. Know that you have permission, today and right now, to do less. To even do the bare minimum—just to throw a wrench in there for the overachievers among us. :) You have permission to not be excellent. To just get by. Your survival is enough.
We are living through tough times. Maybe everyone, everywhere, and always has felt the types of pressures we are moving through collectively. I can’t know that for sure. I’ve only ever lived in this time, and my assessment of things is that there’s a lot going on. Perhaps the more beautiful way here is to do less, to be still, and to just live.
I’m going to try my best to practice what I’m preaching here, y’all. And it not easy. Everything in me wants to create and push and produce more. It’s how I’m wired, I think, which is why I’m blogging about slow living—it keeps me accountable.
In the reader surveys, most of you shared that weekly posting works best so instead of doing Tuesday essays and Friday editions of The Slow Down, you’ll get one or the other each week.
I hope to do a July “Ask Me Anything.” I’m not sure what the format will be—maybe live? Maybe a podcast? Maybe a blog with written responses. However it comes together, submit your questions here! I would love to respond to whatever questions you have about…well…anything: slow living, spirituality, faith, conversion, marriage, work/life balance. You name it.
Have a great week, beloveds and I’ll catch you next week with an edition of The Slow Down. Until then, take it easy. Do less. Be well.
Bethaney