How to recover from a long week of work

Wisdom centers, alignment, and one degree changes over long periods of time

Okay friends. I have a bit of a confession to make. Here goes it.

It is not in my nature to go slowly.

Quite the opposite actually. I thrive on busyness, activity, and on accomplishing things. I truly enjoy life with a splash of workaholism. I’m just being honest.

A few months ago, when talking to my husband about my slow living blog, I said something to the affect of, “Isn't it funny? ME writing a blog about slow living?!” And he looked at me and said, “Yeah…I was wondering about that.”

I laughed out loud. He knows better than most how anxious, fast-paced, and over-committed my life tends to become.

In my opinion, however, the fact that I’m naturally a fast-paced and production-oriented person doesn’t disqualify me from writing about the pursuit of slow living. I’m passionate about slow living because it is the corrective I need as an ambitious human living in a culture that will work me to death if I let it. My lessons are hard won. Slow living is a practice. Slow living teaches us how to live from the body and heart, not just from the head. Slow living teaches us the power of ritual. Slow living teaches us to make room for others. Slow living roots us and resources us for the work of healing ourselves, one another, and the world.

This past week was my first week back to work after a month-long sabbatical. Sabbatical was lovely and full of lessons (which you can listen to here.) But I was more than eager to get back to work. I love the structure of getting things done. I love pushing my limits to accomplish more than I think I can. I enjoy sending emails, making plans, designing workshops, and offering support to my clients. It’s thrilling. I was ready to stop resting and to get some things done.

By the end of the week however, I started to experience a familiar sense of disintegration. It was subtle. My mind had been fully running the show and my body had kept up with remarkable dexterity. I’d been in flow state¹ which is why it felt so amazing. But I reached a point at which my wisdom centers began alerting me to the fact that if I didn’t change my pace, I’d burn out. It wasn’t a loud voice. It wasn’t overwhelming or fear-inducing. It was a gentle nudge from the inner most parts of me saying, Yes, you can strive to change the world with the sheer might of your will and expertise, but you have limits and you will reach them.

My body needed a break. My heart and soul needed room to reflect and breathe. My mind also needed a break, even though it would never admit it.

The body’s wisdom centers

If you’re unfamiliar with the way I’m talking about these different wisdom centers, there are many schools of thought which suggest that each of us carries wisdom in different parts of our bodies all at one time. Our thinking minds, our hearts, our bellies/guts, and even our womb spaces have their own wisdom. They have their own ways of perceiving the world and of making choices.

I’m no expert on these systems, but I would imagine that if you paused to consider what each of your wisdom centers has to say about a situation in your life, they would each speak to you a little differently. They would have different tones or sensations. They may even have different priorities, which is when things get really tricky. One of the most important healing practices we can cultivate is not only learning how to listen to the body’s wisdom centers, but also finding ways to bring the wisdom centers into alignment. I’ll share more about this on Breadcrumbs this week, along with a practice you can cultivate if you want to learn more.

When I woke up on the last day of my work week I could feel it in my bones: I had started to overextend myself. My wisdom centers were on different pages. While my mind was forecasting into the next few weeks and pushing me to get more done, my body was asking me to focus on a just couple of tasks because that’s all it could handle for the day. My heart wanted room to reflect and daydream, which is something I can’t do when I’m pedal-to-the-floor knocking items off my to-do list. And my womb space? Hadn’t heard from her. In my experience, she’s the most quiet. So if I don’t go out of my way to ask what she thinks or needs, I’ll never know.

Getting back into alignment

So what do you do when you wake up one day and realize you’re overextended and in need of some sort of change? Here’s what I did. I offer these as experiments for you to try, knowing we are all wired differently and carrying various loads in our lives.

Accept reality with grace.

Years ago, reaching a point of overextension would leave me feeling ashamed of myself. I felt like something was wrong with me because I had limits and because I couldn’t “keep up” with everyone else. There were so many voices telling me that if I just organized my time differently, prayed a few more prayers, or got a new type of planner then I would magically be able to do it all. But I now that stuff isn’t real. Despite what capitalism has to say, we all have limits. Like the moon, we have our phases. Like the earth, we have our seasons. If you feel overextended, then okay. It’s fine. It’s just the body’s wisdom inviting you to make an adjustment.

Set a boundary.

An object in motion stays in motion. Meaning the only way to stop overextending oneself is to stop. Create a hard stop. Draw a line in the sand that says, “At this point, this activity will cease.” For me, that hard stop was Friday at 6:00 PM. I told myself, No matter what doesn’t get done, I’m stopping. Some times you may not have the luxury of creating the hard stop on the day you’d like to have it. But if you can, it’s worthwhile to look ahead a few days, a week, or even a few months and decide when you are going to stop. If you don’t claim and protect that time, it will be difficult to bring all the parts of you back into an integrated whole. Set a boundary. And if you need help to keep it, tell a friend or loved one about your intention.

Be with the body.

This one may not apply to everyone because we are all wired differently. I am someone who operates primarily from the wisdom center of my mind. I will often bypass the needs and priorities of my body, my heart, my womb space, and my soul in an effort to keep up with my mind. I’m learning how to embrace this about myself. But I’m also learning how to put my thinking mind in it’s proper place. To do this, I focus on something that is very bodily in nature. I’ll take a long bath. I’ll go outside and work on something with my hands. I’ll play with my dogs or snuggle with my partner. I will workout. Something that will put my brain on the back-burner and bring me into the present.

Someone once told me, “Your body is the only part of you that is in the present at all times. Your mind can go to the past or future, but your body is here.” So being with the body is one vital piece of amplifying the wisdom of the other centers you carry within you. If you’re reading this and you are more of a body-centered person or a heart-centered person, I’m curious to know how these pieces show up for you and the adjustments you have to make when feeling overextended, because I imagine they are different from mine.

Wait it out.

Last but not least is to wait. This is what I’m in the midst of doing even as I write this. I’ve slowed down. I’ve had a great night’s sleep. I will not be working for at least another 24 hours. And my intention is to let the dust of the past week settle. I won’t start anything new. I won’t check my email. I’m just going to be here for a few and see what happens. It’s just life, right? We take it one day at a time.

It’s tempting to want quick fixes or remedies. In a crisis or an emergency situation, a quick fix is needed. But I find that chronic challenges, like overworking, anxiety, and even fear require that we create room to relate to our bodies and ourselves in new ways. Quick fixes don’t get us there. We do this through practice and through gentle, daily efforts.

So we try new things, and we wait to see if there is even one degree of healing and improvement. Consistent, one degree improvements will drastically change your life over time.

I’d love to hear from you: what’s shimmering? What are you thinking? How does this land? I challenge you to slow down enough to really consider what I’ve shared here and then to come back and drop your reflections in the comments below.

Be well,

Bethaney

1. In positive psychology, a flow state, also known colloquially as being in the zone, is the mental state in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. (Wikipedia)